


there's a storm coming

by nightmare_doll



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 16:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19727353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmare_doll/pseuds/nightmare_doll
Summary: lloyd has a lot of problems after possession





	there's a storm coming

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this fic a little over a year ago I think and I worked on it on and off throughout the year. It's a little rushed towards the end because I kind of got sick of it sitting in my drafts.  
> This fic does contain suicidal ideation and another character feeding into those thoughts. If that is a trigger for you please don't read it or be careful if you do.  
> Lastly, if you ship lloyd with kai or morro stay the fuck away from my stuff

Lloyd can’t stand the wind. He might even go as far as to say he’s scared of it. Someone might say that’s a dumb thing to be afraid of, but it’s not like he wants to be scared of it. He can’t control it.

_ He lifts his hands, or rather, Morro lifts his hands, and he feels wind pouring from them instead of his own green power. It’s terrifying and Morro is laughing and the wind is howling around him and he feels weak and trapped and utterly helpless. _

He flinches at the slightest gust of wind, jumps at every breeze, curls up in his room during wind storms. He knows Kai can tell what’s going on, Kai did say he’d look out for him after all, and he seems intent to do everything he can to help after his failure to keep that promise when Morro possessed him. When Kai asks what’s wrong, Lloyd just shrugs. What’s the point in saying something Kai probably knows? If Kai really wanted to know he would push more, right?

_ Gusts of wind fling the other ninja, his friends, his family, around, causing them to stay far away from him. He hates this, he doesn’t want them to get hurt, but he’s not in control. Suddenly the Bounty swoops in to save the day and the ninja all climb on board. Well, almost all of them board. Kai’s still there, refusing to accept that he can’t win against Lloyd, no, Morro, and shouting about how they can’t leave Lloyd behind. In a sudden burst of strength, he wrenches out of Morro’s possession. The wind goes silent around them and Kai gets closer. _ _  
_ _ “Kai, help me.” _

Being alone puts Lloyd on edge. His thoughts become too loud, he can’t keep himself from drowning in them without the others to anchor him. Sometimes, he swears he can hear  _ his  _ voice. He shuts down completely when that happens, retreats into his own mind and puts up every wall he can to keep  _ him  _ away, sometimes even going completely unresponsive. Once time Jay walked in on him like this, lying motionless on the floor. He said for a second he’d thought he was dead.

Sometimes that didn’t seem so bad to Lloyd.

_ Most of the time Morro was out searching for the Realm Crystal, leaving Lloyd alone in the depths of his own mind. But when Morro had nothing to do, he would talk to Lloyd. It made Lloyd wish he was busier, even though the things he did were going to destroy Ninjago. _

_ “You’re pathetic. How could someone as worthless as you even become the green ninja?” _

_ He never asked to be the green ninja. He never asked to be forced to grow up so fast. He never asked to fight his father, to hold the weight of Ninjago on his shoulders. He was just a kid after all. _

_ “You’re so weak. You’ve barely even fought my possession lately. Have you given up already?” _

_ A ninja never quits. (he’s just so so tired) _

_ “You rely too much on other people. Your teammates, your uncle, your dad.” _

_ That’s a low blow. He can’t rely on his dad anymore. _

_ “You’re nothing on your own.” _

“i’m nothing i’m nothing i’m nothing i’m nothing”

He whispers it to the night sky, sitting on the deck of the Bounty. The stars are his only confidant. He’s not sure if he believes what he says. He knows logically the things Morro said were because of jealousy, not truth, but Morro’s persistent commentary of his failures is hard to ignore.

“i’m worthless”

The wind whistles past him and, just for a second, he hears “it’s true” in that cold voice he came to know so well.

He’s on the defense immediately, jumping up and looking around for  _ him _ . The hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and slowly he turns around. He’s not sure he’s ready for what he might see.

Morro stands (floats?) before him, smirking sickeningly. Lloyd stumbles back, all the way to the railing of the Bounty, desperate to get away from that  _ thing _ .

“You’re supposed to be dead,” he gasps. It’s barely audible, he’s surprised he could even make a noise, but he can tell Morro heard from his widening grin.

“I’m a ghost, of course I’m dead,” he laughs. It’s a familiar laugh, cold and sinister and full of mirth. It’s usually followed by Lloyd or someone he cares about getting hurt. He braces himself for an attack, but it never comes, just more laughter. “You’re so pathetic, freaking out at even the slightest wind. How can you be useful to your team when you’re so scared all the time?”

_ He’s back in control of his body. Morro is gone. Everything should be fine. No reason to worry anymore. He sees the others spin into the sky, and figures he should follow suit. He spins until he’s a green whirlwind, high in the air, and suddenly he can’t breathe. The air is whipping around him and all his mind is saying is “he’s back he’s back he’s back he’s back” and he’s falling, falling, falling until he crashes into the ground. His heart is racing and he can’t breathe and he can feel tears falling down his face, see them dripping onto the grass beneath him, and everything hurts. Someone puts a hand on his shoulder and he flinches away. _

_ He feels so useless. _

Morro suddenly moves forward and Lloyd tries to back up on instinct, but his legs are already pressed up against the bounty railing. He can see his hands shaking as he grips the railing to steady himself. The wind is picking up and Lloyd can practically see Morro controlling it to push him over.

“Ha, are you gonna jump cause you’re so scared of a little ghost?” he laughs, god he laughs so much just stop laughing, “Why don’t you just do it?”

Lloyd can’t take this anymore. He throws his hands in front of himself and tosses a sphere of green energy (for a split second he’s worried it might have been wind) at Morro. Morro easily dodges, continuing to taunt him. The energy explodes against the wall of the bounty.

“You’re holding them back, Lloyd,” another burst of energy that Morro evades, “Your weakness is affecting them. They’re just too nice to admit it.” Another blast, another fail, “You think they want to deal with a baby who can’t even do spinjitzu without having a panic attack? Just jump and save them the trouble.” Morro is right in front of him now, and Lloyd tries to throw a punch. His arm passes right through him. “I’m a ghost, remember? You can’t hit me.”

_ A fist connects with his face, another with his gut, a third hits his arm, another his chest. He’s too weak to retaliate, not that he could even if he wasn’t exhausted. Fighting a ghost is unfair, Morro can hit Lloyd however much he wants, but Lloyd can’t land a single punch. _

_ “You don’t deserve to be the green ninja,” Morro seethes, every word punctuated with a blow, “It should have been me.” _

He tries to send another ball of energy at Morro, but his powers won’t respond. He’s too scared, too tired, too  _ weak _ . His fingers are digging into the bounty’s railing and he’s leaning as far away from Morro as he can without toppling over. He can barely see, his eyes blurred with tears, he can barely breathe, only being able to do so in quick, shallow gasps. It would probably be easier to just lean over and fall, get away from Morro, from his failures, from the constant nightmares and flashbacks and fear. Morro is grinning at him, as if he can read his thoughts (he’s done so before) and he needs to get away away away

_ He’s holding the Realm Crystal, all he needs to do is use his power, green energy not wind, to break it and this will all be over. Ninjago will be safe once again. He summons his power, and - _

_ “You’re really going to trap your father in the Cursed Realm?” _

_ No. Don’t think about that, this is what he would have wanted. He gave his life to save Ninjago, he wouldn’t want it to be sacrificed for him. As much as Lloyd misses him, he can’t. _

_ “I’ve seen him, you know.” _

_ No, focus, Lloyd. Destroy it. Destroy it now before- _

_ Morro grins _

_ -it’s too late. _

"LLOYD!" A new voice calls out. Kai comes running over, carefully pulling Lloyd down from railing. He hadn't even realized he'd been climbing over. Lloyd goes limp in Kai's arms. "Lloyd, are you okay?" Kai asks. Lloyd just barely shakes his head, glancing back at Morro. He looks angry. That's bad. Lloyd knows that look, he knows what will happen. He can't let Kai get hurt. He can't fail his team again.

“Kai, please, get away, he’s going to hurt you-”

“What are you talking about?” Kai asks, letting go of Lloyd as he shoves him away.

“Morro, he’s angry, please, I don’t, I don’t want you to get hurt”

“Morro’s gone, Lloyd,” Kai says reassuringly. But Lloyd can see him, he knows he’s there, he’s watching him over Kai’s shoulder. Why hasn’t he attacked yet? “Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real. No matter how real it looks or feels, he’s not back. Here, focus on me. Breathe with me. In for four. ” Lloyd takes a deep breath. One, two, three, four. "Hold for four." One, two, three, four. "Out for four." Lloyd exhales. One, two, three, four. The two repeat the exercise until Lloyd's breathing has become manageable. “He’s not here, he can’t hurt you or any of us.” Kai helps Lloyd up, allowing Lloyd to lean on him. Lloyd stumbles over to the stairway, his eyes never leaving Morro. Morro makes no moves, just glaring. “It’s okay, Lloyd. I’m here for you.”

“I’m sorry I’m so pathetic,” Lloyd whispers once they reach the stairs, causing Kai to frown.

“You’re not pathetic, you’re our leader,” Kai assures him, “We wouldn’t have it any other way.” Lloyd stays quiet as Kai helps him to his room, focusing instead on keeping his breathing steady. He doesn’t want to go to bed, doesn’t want to deal with the nightmares, but climbs in anyway, wrapping himself up in the blankets. Kai sits down at the foot of his bed.

“Lloyd, I know you don’t like talking about it, but please let me know what’s going on,” he pleads. “I’m worried about you, and you… You really scared me up there.” Lloyd can’t stand the mix of worry and fear in Kai’s voice.

“I’m terrified, all the time,” he whispers. “I keep thinking he’ll come back and sometimes. Sometimes he does.” He’s never said this out loud. “I know, deep down, that it’s not really him and it’s all in my head but… it’s still terrifying. I don’t want to lose my control like that again. I can’t lose my control like that again.” Lloyd pauses to take a few deep breaths. “And I’m sick of having to relive it over and over and over again through nightmares and flashbacks, I don’t know how much longer I can do this… God even the wind is a trigger. I’m so pathetic!”

“Lloyd, I'm sorry…” Kai whispers. “Here, I've got an idea. Would it help if I stayed in here? If I notice you're having a nightmare I can wake you up and we can, I don't know, play video games or something.” Lloyd nods.

“Yeah, I think that would help.”

“I know I can't help everything, but I'll do all I can.” Kai assures him. “We could look into therapists. Only if you want to of course!"

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Lloyd had never really been on board with going to therapy, but this is clearly beyond what he can handle.

"Okay, we can do that in the morning. You should get some rest now." Kai says. Lloyd burrows into his blankets and closes his eyes. "Goodnight Lloyd."

"G'night Kai." Lloyd mumbles. After a second he adds. "Thank you."

"No problem. Anything for my little bro."


End file.
